06

Dating My Best Friend – Can This Relationship Work?

There are many instances where the transition from best friends to lovers has occurred. The change is often subtle. One day you look at your best friend and notice how infectious their laugh is. You marvel at how a simple smile can make your stomach do flips. You’re in love, but is it really worth it? Crossing the line between friends and lovers can be exhilarating, but it is important to weigh the risks and the benefits before proceeding.

There are more than a few benefits to being involved with a friend. There is a certain degree of familiarity that is lacking in relationships that start with the intention of being lovers. When two people start at courtship there is a tendency to hold back some aspects of your personality in an effort to improve your chances of being with that person. This is why there is a general consensus that after the first few years of being together you will begin to find the little things about your partner that irritate you. Best friends have the advantage of having experienced and reconciled the majority of these irritations well before entering a relationship.

Knowing just about everything there is to know about one another is the biggest advantage of dating a best friend. There is a kind of openness that friends have that is lacking in romantic relationships early on. This turns out to be an enormous advantage when transitioning to lovers because trust, which is the basis of any successful relationship, is already there. This goes a long way to helping the relationship go the distance.

One of the biggest advantages can also be the source of one of the biggest problems. The problem with knowing just about everything about one another is there is not much more to learn. For some this leads to disenchantment with one another as the exhilaration of being lovers begins to fade and they realize that the new dynamic to their relationship was not much of a leap after all. Combine this with the very real possibility that your friendship may not survive becoming involved if things don not work out and the idea of crossing the line between lovers and friends looks less appealing.

In the end it is a gamble. There is much to lose and much to gain by taking a friendship to another level. It comes down whether or not it’s a risk you are willing to take.