Online dating can be confusing. Many singles find themselves in the situation of trying to determine if someone else is interested in them. The question presented here may sound straight forward but consider this situation:
1. A man is viewing a woman’s profile repeatedly.
2. The woman notices this as the dating site provides her with this information.
3. She contacts the man through an email.
4. He never responds.
5. As the weeks go by, he
to view her profile.
This is just one example of why communication in the online world, especially when creating relationships, can be so confusing. So, if a man is interested will he respond?
I hate using words like “never” or “always” but generally speaking if a man is not responding to your email it is a bad sign. Guys are often doing most of the contacting when dating online and more than a few of us have admitted to the pleasure of having the role reversed. It is very nice to be on the other end of the email process. If I am interested in a woman and she contacts me, my interest is not going to go away. In fact, it will increase.
For a moment, consider all of the hurdles that singles will go through to find a relationship. Late night phone calls, obsessing over the smallest conversations we have with each other, driving three hours to spend one hour with someone and so on. I once drove through foot of snow to spend an afternoon with a woman I thought I might be interested in dating. Would I have ever left my house otherwise? It is hard from me to think of another reason I would have left the house…maybe if it was on fire. Even then, I really hate snow. My point is this: consider all of the effort we put forth for someone we are interested in and then consider how small an effort it would take to respond to an email. In this light, the fact that someone is not taking a few minutes to respond to an email is a very bad sign.
All that being said, there are reasons I refuse to say that no response
means they are not interested. There are other reasons for no response.
Some men are not going to be paying members. They may daydream about dating online and enjoy browsing the women on the dating site. They may even want to respond to you but are unable financially to do so. Other times the man is not even using the service any longer. Online dating services benefit from having more members so they are very reluctant to remove or hide profiles even when it is obvious the man is no longer using the service.
Just like in the real world, some men like to play games. They have watched
one too many times and believe that success can only be found by driving a woman insane. While success can be found by
emailing a woman you like or by
calling her when you say you will, women need to ask themselves if this is the type of man they want to date.
To me it appears that there are three general reasons a man will not respond: no interest, no ability or he is playing games. If he is not interested, there is nothing you can do about that. Sure, you could email him some more but now he is not interested and you appear like a stalker. If he has no ability to respond, either because he can not afford the service or because he is no longer using it, then your interest should all but disappear. No offence to the man who can not pay for a dating service but if he can not pay for that, what are your dates going to be like? Finally, if he is just playing games it is probably a good reason to avoid him. In this case, you may still feel interest but are intelligent enough to abandon it.
In all of these cases, it is better to forget about the man. Whether he is not interested or he is broke or he is into head games, it all amounts to the same thing: time to find another guy.